Red
by operationblackbird
Summary: "She had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, like when you're swimming and you want to put your feet down on something solid, but the water's deeper than you think and there's nothing there." Contains triggers inclu rape & abuse.
1. Chapter 1

_**Red is such an interesting color to correlate with emotion, because it's on both ends of the spectrum. On one end you have happiness, falling in love,**__**infatuation with someone, passion, all that. On the other end, you've got obsession, jealousy, danger, fear, anger and frustration. **_

* * *

Pulling her keys from her back pocket, she suddenly felt a wave of insecurity ripple through her. Something wasn't right. She glanced cautiously around the silent hallway.

Nothing.

Blaming her paranoia on too much coffee and too little sleep, JJ shook her head and proceeded to enter her empty apartment.  
Or so she thought.  
Locking the door behind her and throwing her go bag onto the sofa, she turned to make her way into the kitchen to pour herself a much needed glass of wine. _Maybe two,_ she thought. _Three at the most._

Crouching down to open the refrigerator, she stilled again. This time, she waited. JJ rose slowly, her right hand making its way to rest just above her back pocket where her gun currently sat.  
The light from the refrigerator illuminated the small space just enough notice anything out of the ordinary.

Still nothing.

Her tired blue eyes scanned the room, but everything was as she had left it. She sighed deeply, about to return to her alcohol finding activities, when out of the corner of her eye, she saw something that made her breath catch.

There in the right hand corner of her one bedroomed apartment, was her security alarm. The flashing red warning was enough to ensure the blonde had her weapon pulled within seconds.  
JJ squinted, unmoving, making sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her at this ridiculously early hour. She set her alarm every single time she stepped a foot out of her apartment. She never forgot.

JJ swallowed.  
Her stomach twisted tightly as she stared at the object before her.  
There was no denying what it said.

**Alarm System Deactivated. **


	2. Chapter 2

She backed along the wall slowly, her ears listening for any indication that she was not alone. A sudden noise emitting from the bottom of the darkened hallway made JJ's heart leap into her throat. She spun in the direction of the continuing commotion, but the only emotion that displayed itself across her porcelain face was that of confusion.  
_Is that...my shower? _  
JJ froze for a second, even holding her breath to confirm the noise she heard. She was right. She was sure of it. Somebody was using her shower.  
_What the..._  
She lowered her gun. Turning her head from side to side, she had to do a double take to ensure she was actually in the right apartment.  
She was.  
And she was ultimately stumped.  
Never in her years working for the BAU had she ever encountered an intruder who had illegally entered someone's property simply to use their shower.  
Too busy thinking of different scenarios to explain these current events, JJ failed to notice the sudden silence.  
It wasn't until her bathroom door opened that she was once again scared half to death.

Her gun was raised in milliseconds, a clear shot to the forehead awaiting the olive skinned male that stood semi-naked in front of her. JJ gasped, her solid stance loosening somewhat at the recognition of the presence before her. The man simply raised an eyebrow, before bringing up a teal coloured towel to dry his jet black hair.  
Approaching her without a care in the world, the man stood just centimetres away from JJ, allowing her gun to rest on his chest.

"You're out of coffee. I would have saved you some but I didn't know when you'd be home. Got any beer?"  
He asked nonchalantly, manoeuvring around JJ and making his way over to the sofa, where he promptly made himself comfortable and turned on the television set without another word.

JJ was practically in shock. Her frozen form finally melted, and she turned suddenly to the body occupying her leather sofa.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing! How did you even get in here? Better question, why are you here? This is MY apartment. Get out!"  
The unwanted guest didn't even appear to flinch at the words the blonde was venomously throwing across the room.  
"ADAM, GET OUT!" She shouted furiously after she received no response.  
"I travelled all this way just to come and visit you, and that's the welcome I get? I personally find that a bit rude don't you? What would your mother say."  
Adam replied, his hazel eyes still concentrating on the screen before him.

JJ slammed her gun down on stand to her left and furiously stomped her way to the centre of the living room, ultimately blocking Adam's gaze towards the TV.  
"Get out." JJ said.  
"Move." Adam shot back, his darkened eyes boring into her sky blue ones.  
JJ pursed her lips. It took only a matter of seconds before she began to feel uneasy, faltering slightly under his steady gaze.  
_No, don't give in. Not this time. _She thought to herself.

"This is my home. You're not welcome here. You have 3 seconds to get out or I'll call the police." JJ said, trying to remain as calm and in control as she could, although she definitely didn't feel it.  
"I thought you were the police." Adam smirked back.  
JJ bit her lip.  
"Come on then big shot. You want me to leave so bad? Make me. You can even use your handcuffs if you like." He replied, winking in JJ's direction before chuckling slightly.  
JJ said nothing. She swallowed, unsure of which angle to play in return.  
"Well?" Adam prompted.

Still she remained silent. What exactly could she do? Despite the many years of training she had received, even including the extra self-defence lessons with Morgan, she had absolutely zero chance at forcibly removing this guy from her apartment.  
She knew that.  
And so did her.  
Just as much as they both knew she wouldn't call the cops.

She blinked, focusing her eyes onto the man once more. His gaze hadn't even faltered. Whether she intended it to be there or not, Adam saw the flutter of defeat swimming in those gorgeous blue eyes.  
The corner of his mouth rose. He'd won. A lot easier than expected. The case she'd returned from must have been a tiring one to result in a battle this minuscule.  
"I didn't think so." He said. "Now move."

It was like an involuntary movement, complying with his demands. Her body seemed to step out of the way without her consent. She felt weak, giving up so easily. Who the hell was he to just turn up at her apartment at this hour after God only knows how many years and act as though nothing had happened between them.  
Staring in his direction, she thought all of this and more, but didn't say a word. She was far too exhausted to even contemplate having an argument with this man.  
Instead, she simply sighed, and made her way solemnly towards her bedroom.  
She locked her door, kicked off her shoes and crawled under the cold covers, closing her eyes tightly and praying that everything that had just happened would all just turn out to be a dream.


	3. Chapter 3

** - this story will contain dark themes, especially based around those of self harm / eating disorders / abuse**

* * *

Her room was still dark when her eyes flickered open, bar the flash of numerous colors she could see under the gap in the door.  
It hadn't been a dream. He was still here. And wasting her electricity bill from the looks of things.  
She felt uneasy, but knew she had confront him at some point. She unlocked her phone and squinted suddenly as the bright light stung her eyes. No better time than 5:37am.  
Throwing back the covers, she clenched her teeth as the bitter air harshly hit her. Goosebumps ran their way over her ivory skin.  
_For crying out loud, you're a grown ass woman, this is your house, he can't boss you around anymore, you owe him nothing, kick his ass out! _  
She thought to herself.  
JJ sighed and placed her feet upon the wooden floor. Instantly she froze, as though she'd stepped on a million shards of glass. Looking down, she realized her feet were bare. As was the rest of her, clad only in her underwear. Turning to her left, she spotted her clothes thrown into a disorganized heap on her dresser.  
_That bastard._  
Glaring at the door, she was undecided as to whether she should dress before shooting him or after.  
Throwing on her dressing gown, JJ angrily threw open the door. He was exactly where she'd left him, slouched across her sofa as if it were his own.  
Before she was able to open her mouth, he beat her to it.  
"You've put on a bit of weight, don't you think? Like I get that your job's stressful and everything, but damn girl, light a spliff or something, don't eat every edible thing in the apartment."  
The comment stumped her. Before she could stop herself, she glanced down towards her stomach and involuntarily breathed in a little. Had she put on weight? Her clothes still fit her okay, didn't they? No one else had said anything, but, would they? Maybe she should...  
The blonde quickly shook her head. No. It was too easy to get roped back into all of that. She was stronger than that. She wasn't going to let this asshole drag her back to rock bottom after she'd spent so many years scrambling to the top.

"I want you to leave. Now. And I don't want to see you again."  
"Yeah okay."  
"I mean it Adam. I don't want you here."  
He brazenly slumped his arm across the back of the sofa and shifted to look in her direction.  
"Okay. If that's what you really want, then I'll go."  
JJ blinked in confusion. What even was this guy doing? She had no idea what game he was playing and she hated feeling so left out of the loop.  
"Okay..." She replied, still dumbfounded.  
"Next week."  
Her tongue flicked over her teeth.  
"Next week what?"  
"I'll go. Next week."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I need somewhere to crash for a week, maybe two tops. Then I'll be out of that pretty blonde hair of yours, okay? Chill baby, you wont even know I'm here."

Throwing her arms up, JJ laughed sarcastically.  
"Really? Because when you're sneaking into my room and undressing me without my consent I'm pretty sure I'll know you're still here!"  
"You looked uncomfortable, I was being.."  
"what, a creep?" JJ finished for him.  
"You've never complained about me undressing you before." Adam smirked.  
JJ's eyes turned a cloudy shade of deep blue; the anger that was building up inside of her was making her feel nauseous.

"Don't ever touch me again." She said, before escaping back to her room. 

* * *

She felt drained. Staring at herself in the mirror, she realized she looked even worse than she felt. Looking over into the far side of the bathroom, JJ chewed repeatedly on her bottom lip. Breathing out through her nose, she swiftly removed her dressing gown. She stepped gingerly onto the glass scales below.  
She held her breath as the numbers began to rise. Finally, they stopped still, and so did she. She didn't move an inch.  
He was right. She had put on weight. Not a lot, barley anything noticeable. But still. The evidence was right there staring her in the face. And suddenly, she felt nauseous all over again.  
She quickly stepped back onto the cold tiled floor as though she been burnt. She felt at loss as to what she should do.  
Hadn't she heard Garcia talking about some kind of new crazy diet she'd been looking into? Apparently it worked kinda well...

Grabbing her hairbrush from the side of the sink, JJ frantically began brushing through her golden locks, desperately trying to push the probing thoughts back into the box they'd sprung from and convincing herself that a couple of pounds here or there didn't make a difference.  
But they did.  
The alarm singing to her from her Iphone pulled her out of her daze. She had less than 20 minutes to make herself look presentable and get to work.  
30 minutes later, she'd only just finished pulling on her shoes and stepping out of her room.  
Adam stood before her, waiting, a mug of steaming hot coffee held out to her in his left hand.  
"Coffee, slightly milky, 2 and a half sugars, just the way you like it." He smiled.  
JJ pushed past him, grabbing her jacket off the back of the sofa.  
"Hey. I went through the effort of making you a coffee, the least you could do is say thank you."  
Her piercing glare shot up to meet his. Still she remained silent.  
She turned and pulled on her jacket, picked up her keys, and headed to the door, but before she could reach out for the handle, his hand had already snaked itself around her right wrist and yanked her backwards.  
She gasped, more in shock than pain.  
He pulled her close so that her face was only centimeters from his.  
"Don't be an ungrateful little bitch Jenny, because you know how much that shit pisses me off."  
His tone was low and laden with unspoken threats.  
JJ opened her mouth to speak, but deiced it be wiser not to start an argument she knew from experience she couldn't finish.  
Instead, she smiled, apologized and humored him with a thank-you, before taking the coffee and heading out of the door.  
Adam smiled proudly.  
"You're welcome baby. Have a good day. See you later!"  
The second he shut the door, JJ slumped back against it. She knew exactly where this was going. She'd been there before. Her team could probably help, but how could she possibly tell them. They'd want to know everything. Every little detail about what was going on. Hell, she didn't even know what was going on. The past 24 hours had made little to no sense to her. All she knew, was that he was there.  
She pictured each of her colleagues' faces if they found out about her past. No one would look at her the same again. Not Emily. Not Garcia...Not even Hotch...  
Shaking her head and discarding her mug into the nearest trash can, she plastered on the biggest smile she could summon, and headed to work.


	4. Chapter 4

- mentions of sexual abuse  
Sorry if this chapter doesn't make much sense, I've just gotten out of hospital and I'm doped up on pain meds, enjoy anyway!

* * *

Her golden hair bounced rhythmically as she hurried up to the meeting room. 7 minutes late was not a good way to start the day. If JJ knew anything about Hotch, it was that he hated 3 things; Bees, lollipops with the secret piece of gum in the middle, and lateness.  
Breathing in a breath of encouragement, she stepped forward just as the door was thrown open in front of her.  
"You're late."  
Hotch barked, before marching past her and entering the lair of Erin Strauss, slamming the door coldly behind him. Looking forward, she was met with the sympathetic smiles of her team.  
JJ didn't say a word. She was far too exhausted, so instead walked over to the coffee machine and smiled slightly as the aroma of the delicious blend reached her nostrils. Slumping down into the only available chair, she relaxed slightly as she brought the mug to her lips.  
"Did you know, gingerbread latte's don't even contain any of the ingredients used to make ginger bread? It doesn't even contain real ginger. Or bread for that matter." Reid sprouted quickly.  
"But it contains caffeine." JJ shot back.  
"Well...yeah..." Replied Reid.  
"Then that's all I really need." JJ smiled.  
"What were you up too last night then you dirty girl?" Emily laughed.  
JJ pursed her lips and placed her coffee down slowly.  
"I have no idea what you're talking about." She said quietly.  
Emily squinted accusingly in her direction.  
"Oh please. You're hair's tangled, you look exhausted, you we're 10 minutes late..."  
"7." Reid interrupted.  
The brunette glared at the young man, causing him to embarrassingly shift his gaze.  
"Whatever. Point is, you were late. You're never late. And, you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday."  
JJ mentally slapped herself. She hadn't done that deliberately, she had just been in such a rush she'd grabbed the nearest items she could find and threw them on.  
"I wasn't up to anything, I just don't feel too great, that's all." She answered softly, returning to her coffee.  
Emily shot a look at Morgan, who in turn simply raised an eyebrow and shrugged.  
"Quit profiling me. I'm just tired." JJ said.  
No one had time to reply as Hotch returned, stalking through the double doors and back out again, taking a pile of files with him.  
Deciding this was the prefect opportunity to turn the attention of the conversation to someone else, JJ asked;  
"What's up with him?"  
"Strauss has him running around like a little lap dog this morning. According to her we've been neglecting our own turf. This week she wants all local cases to be reviewed and all paperwork completed by Friday." Rossi answered.  
"Ouch." JJ replied.  
"Yeah." Rossi smirked.  
Hotch returned once more. Standing stoically in the doorway, he reminded JJ of an angry school teacher that was about to send each of his students to the principle.  
"You all have case files on your desks of local activity that's been raising some concerns. If you think you've found leads to go off for cause on an investigation, pair up and present it to me. Get to work." He ordered.  
The team sullenly began filing out of the room.  
"Not you JJ. My office. Now."  
The young profiler grimaced.  
Casting a glance at her best friends, she whispered; "Wish me luck."  
Both the girls crossed their fingers.  
"Good luck." They said in unison.

Hotch's office was dimly lit and fairly cold. JJ's first instinct was to pull the sleeves of her top over her hands to keep them warm. She could have sworn if you'd of breathed out hard enough, you could of seen your own breath.  
She'd barely sat before Hotch began.  
"I have no time for this sort of tardiness JJ, especially when I have the director on my back. She doesn't need any more reasons to pick flaws in the construction of this team, so I'd appreciate it if you made a bit more effort not to give her any."  
JJ winced a little. He was in full boss mode. She thought it a little unfair that he had singled her out just for being a few minutes late. She'd rarely ever been late before. Was all of this really necessary?  
"Sorry sir." She mumbled.  
"So?"  
"So..." JJ repeated.  
"So why were you late?"  
"Uh.."  
She was stumped. JJ honestly didn't think he'd care enough to actually ask her this question, so she hadn't thought of an appropriate response.  
Hotch raised his eyebrows, seemingly already tired of waiting for an answer.  
JJ sighed and looked toward the floor. Inspecting her shoes, she considered telling him the truth.  
_My psychopath of an ex boyfriend practically moved himself into my apartment and is refusing to leave and he seems more mentally unstable now than he did 10 years ago_  
she thought silently. Yeah, that wasn't going to work.  
"I'm waiting JJ." Hotch pushed.  
"I overslept. I'm sorry." She answered meekly.  
She didn't look up, but she could feel his eyes scanning over her. As close as she was to the rest of the team, no one knew her quite like Hotch did. She knew that he knew she was lying. But what else could she say when the truth wasn't an option.  
Finally, he spoke.  
"Don't let it happen again. Go and help Morgan."  
"Yes sir."  
JJ replied, quickly making her way from the office and closing the door behind her. 

* * *

It was an incredibly rare sight to see her empty chair when the rest were full. Hardly ever was Jennifer Jareau late for anything. The second the clock struck 7 and her chair was still unoccupied, he couldn't help the flash of panic that surged through his body. He knew there'd be a reasonable explanation; perhaps she was stuck in traffic, but no matter how many excuses he could think up, he was still worried. Not that he'd admit it of course.

He released a long sigh of relief he hadn't even realized he'd been holding when he opened the door to find her stood there, though he couldn't help but feel angry towards her for making him feel that way.  
Sitting back in his office chair, he pondered. He hadn't believed her when she had told him she'd overslept. And she knew he hadn't either, which is why she'd refused eye contact. It also didn't take a profiler to notice how tired and worn down she looked.  
Walking over to the window that overlooked the bullpen, he watched her silently.  
Something was different. Something was wrong. And if anyone was going to get to the bottom of it, Aaron Hotchner would.

* * *

"So you think this one is worth presenting?" Emily questioned  
"It's the best we've got so far. If anything it'll just be a routine house call." Rossi answered  
"Remind me again why local PD aren't doing this?" Morgan asked.  
"Because Strauss has her old lady panties in a twist that you guys aren't doing enough to help you're own community and blah blah blah." Garcia said, chewing the lid of her pen as she too scanned over files.  
"Insightful explanation as always Garcia." Rossi said, not able to help the tint of humour in his voice. Garcia winked in response.  
"So we all agree that a house call is necessary. What we haven't agreed is who's going." Said Morgan.  
The team fell silent for a few seconds before the argument erupted.  
A chorus of; "But that's not fair." "But I went last time." "You should go because..." "Well I'm not going." Rang out from the room, easily heard by Hotch who quickly made his appearance and silenced the group.  
"Morgan and JJ will go. The rest of you can continue filing." It was clear in his tone that he wasn't asking, but telling.  
Mumbles and grumbles muttered under breaths floated quietly to Aarons ears. He didn't like this either. He would much rather of been on a case or at home with Jack than doing this. But Strauss had given her orders and there was little he could do.  
"Why me, what did I do!?" Morgan said, more to himself than anyone else.  
"Because I said so." Hotch barked down to him, before returning to Erin's office.  
Morgan rolled his eyes and plucked the keys from JJ's hand as he walked past.  
"Hey!" JJ shouted.  
"Sorry blondie, but you think I'm gonna trust you behind the wheel looking like a zombie? Think again." He said, laughing as he left.  
JJ's mouth dropped open, mocking offense.  
"You're forever a beautiful hot mess girl, even as a zombie. Go get 'em." Garcia laughed.  
"Thanks." JJ laughed in return, walking quickly to catch up with Morgan. _Just a routine house check, at least it's better than paperwork. _JJ thought to herself. _This isn't so bad. _

* * *

Hotch sighed in exasperation as his phone vibrating against the desk begged for his attention once more. Putting the phone on speaker as he continued his paperwork, he simply had no time for pleasantries.  
"What do you want Morgan?"  
The line was quiet for a few moments.

"I said what is it Derek? If you've finished over at the Mason's house then you need to..."  
Hotch was quickly cut off, the words that rang out of his phones speaker were enough to cause him to drop his pen to the desk.  
"Hotch, it's JJ..."  
Hotch's breath hitched in his throat.  
"We're at the hospital. She's okay. I mean, not okay but, she got hurt man. The suspect we were looking for, he was at the parents house. There was nothing in the case file that indicated he would have been there, we had no idea Hotch. I swear if we had I would of taken more people but, it was just meant to be a routine check man."  
He was hardly listening to a word the younger man was saying. Only one sentence pounded in his mind. _She got hurt. _  
"What happened." He asked quickly, trying desperately to mask his emotions that he felt were going to burst out of him at any moment.  
Morgan sighed, he could tell just from Hotch's tone he wasn't happy.  
"We we're just checking out the house, talking to the kids parents you know? Everything seemed normal. It just happened so fast Hotch. The kid came sprinting out of the room, I didn't have a chance to stop him I swear. He blitzed straight past me. JJ was coming up the stairs. The kid barreled right into her and sent them both flying and JJ smashed her head pretty hard. She was out for a couple of minutes. I called it in as soon as I checked on her. Local PD picked the kid up a couple of blocks away and the medics took JJ in, something about a concussion, a couple of stitches maybe... Hotch are you still there?"  
Hotch's head was in his hands, breathing slowly. This was all his fault. He'd sent JJ out there to get back at her for being late and this was the outcome. What the hell had he done.  
"Yeah. Okay. Thanks Morgan."  
"But Hotch I..."  
He disconnected the call before Morgan could say anything else. The guilt overpowered him, like a boa constrictor had wrapped itself around his chest, crushing him slowly. This was the last thing he wanted. Walking quickly to the bathroom, he ignored the quizzical stares the rest of the team shot his way. He stood still in front of the mirror. A few moments later, he heard the bathroom door open and close as someone entered.  
"Stop blaming yourself Aaron. You weren't to know."

"But I sent was the one that sent her...them." He corrected.  
He glanced at the man leaning against the door. He wasn't fooling him in the slightest, Hotch honestly didn't even know why he was trying.  
"I spoke to Morgan after you ever so politely hung up on him." Rossi said softly. "JJ's fine. Just a mild concussion and a few stitches."  
"A mild concussion and a few stitches that never should of happened." Hotch bit back quickly.  
"Aaron. It's not your fault. She's fine. They're already on their way back here."  
"She needs to go home." Hotch said bitterly.  
"Well why don't you take her. It's not like she can drive?"  
"I'm busy." Hotch said, pushing past Rossi to return to the seclusion of his office.  
"I don't know why you're so insistent on denying what we already know." Rossi said after him.  
Hotch said nothing before disappearing back into the darkness.

* * *

The second she stepped back into the bullpen, it was as though she were a magnet pulling every living being towards her. A swarm of concerned bodies were around her in seconds, voices of concern shouting out at every angle.  
"Give the girl some space would you, damn." Morgan joked.  
"Guy's honestly, I'm fine, really."  
The chattering around her continued as she was bombarded with hugs and sympathetic pats and shoulder rubs. She looked up, noticing her boss staring down at her from his office window. The second her eyes caught his, he retreated back to his desk quickly. The first thing he noticed was the gash that streaked it's way across her forehead, her golden hair tinted rose from the blood she'd lost. It was all far too much for him to handle with all the pressure he was already under.  
JJ swallowed sadly. She couldn't help but feel as though she'd once again disappointing him. _Twice in one day. Well done Jareau. _  
After the sea of sympathetic cuddles and words had dispersed, JJ only smiled in appreciation as Rossi offered to take her home, casting one last glance at the closed office doors before sulkily trailing after the older man to take her home.

* * *

The drive was short and silent, but seemed to drag on for a very long time.  
Pulling up outside her appartment, JJ uncliped her seatbelt and muttered a thank-you before placing her hand on the door handle.  
"Don't take it personally kid. It's all him."  
JJ studied the older man in confusion.  
"I don't know..."  
"You do know." Rossi interupted, giving her a sidewards smile.  
JJ sat quietly for a moment.  
"I guess today's just not my day huh." She finally said.  
"We all have our days. Go on. Go relax. Have a nap. No doubt you'll be called back in by tomorrow, so I'd make the most of it. Want me to walk you to the door?"  
The offor at first was tempting. The painkillers had already begun to take effect and the drowsiness was setting in. But remembering her current vistor and contenplating the reaction he may have made her polietly decline the mans offer.  
"Okay, well, you be careful. Relax. You deserve it. And remember. It's not you."  
JJ smiled, throwing a slight wave behind her as she entered the building. For the first time in a long time, she took the elevator to her floor.

* * *

Crashing through the door, she didn't even bother to close it behind her. She ran full force into the bathroom and made it just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. Once she'd finally finished, she slumped back, resting her pounding head against the stone cold tiles.  
"That. That was disgusting."  
Opening her eyes, she noticed for the first time that Alex was sat, completely naked, in the bath tub in front of her. She was far to sore and drowsy to care. Besides, it wasn't like she hadn't seen him naked before. JJ didn't answer, but simply closed her eyes once more. She could feel the pounding in her head almost as well as she could feel the pounding in her chest. Perhaps Rossi helping her to her door was the better option after all.  
Inspecting her head from where he sat, Alex grimaced slightly.  
"Ouch." Was all he said.  
"Yeah." JJ whispered.  
"What the hell happened? You haven't even been gone that long." Alex asked  
"Crazy kid. Pushed me down the stairs. Hospital. 6 stitches. Tired." Was the answer JJ offered, yawning loudly.  
Alex laughed softly to himself.  
"Damn. Come on, let's get you to bed. I brought you some beers, but didn't know when you'd get home, so I drank them all. If I knew you were coming back looking like this I would of saved you the whole pack." Alex chirped.  
She wasn't sure how many he'd drank, but even in her state she could smell the alcohol on his breath as he spoke.  
He wrapped a towel around his midsection, then without any effort needed, plucked the small girl from bathroom floor and carried her gently to the bedroom. Placing her on the bed, he stroked a loose strand of hair from her face.  
"Even with that nasty ass gash on you're head, you're still beautiful." He said.  
JJ smiled weakly. "Thanks." She said, rolling over and closing her eyes.  
He tucked her into bed, then placed himself beside her, all the while caressing her face gently and circling his thumb against her pale cheek.  
JJ breathed slowly. As much as she appreciated him helping her to bed, she felt uncomfortable. She could feel him inching closer as his hands began to stray from her face to her shoulders, then to her stomach, playing daintily just above the hem of her jeans.  
"Stop Alex. I'm so tired. I want to sleep."  
"So sleep." He replied, his voice low.  
With as much energy as she could muster, she pushed his body away. Her eyelids were beginning to grow heavy.  
Despite her actions, his hands returned, softly brushing up and down her legs, around her thighs.  
"God you're so hot." Alex whispered.  
"I'm cold." JJ bit back, pulling the covers and far up as she could manage, placing the covers between them as some form of barrier.  
Alex laughed. "Yeah, I didn't mean like that."  
Undeterred by her actions, his hands continued to roam up and down her body. He unclasped the button of her jeans and slowly began to tug them down. Alarm bells began to sound in JJ's mind, though they were muffled and hazy.  
This wasn't happening, she thought. He wouldn't. He wouldn't do what she was afraid he was going to do. Not now. Not with how vulnerable and weak she was.  
When they were younger, sex was all they knew. With the backgrounds they had come from and the lives they were living, sex and violence were the norm. It was something they just accepted and got on with. It was just how things were.  
But not now. Not now they were older. Not now they knew the difference between right and wrong. Not now he'd seen how much he'd hurt and betrayed her in the past. He just couldn't. Could he?  
Pulling up as much strength as she could muster, she pushed Alex back once more.  
"Stop." She said forcefully, tugging her jeans back up. The effort was futile. In one swift movement they were in a heap on the bedroom floor. JJ winced.  
"Stop." She said again, but more quietly this time.  
She looked directly into Alex's eyes and pulled back at what she saw. His eyes weren't his eyes anymore. His eyes were dark. And lustful. And evil. It had been many years since she'd seen him look at her this way. There was nothing. Nothing in his emotion but pain and hate and control. And she knew he was going to take it out on her all over again. Because he had done so many times before. Because that was all he knew. Because he could.  
She tried to sit up, her breathing hitched as she tried to remain calm. But he was stronger. Much stronger from the state she was currently in. He pushed her back down, and lifted her shirt, the top of which was still dotted in blood stains from the mornings events.  
"Relax baby, I'm just playing." A sly smile played across his lips.  
"Please stop." JJ repeated. She hated being placed in a situation where she had to beg. But she knew from experience that nothing she said at this point would make much difference. If anything she was just making the situation worse for herself. The more she pushed and squirmed uncomfortably beneath him, the more excited he became.  
"Stop, stop, stop." JJ winced as he continued to force himself on top of her. Her pleading fell on deaf ears as Alex ignored her. He held down her resisting arms and trailed harsh kisses up and down her neck. She refused to kiss him back. She threw her head from side to side in an attempt to avoid what he was doing, but it made no difference. She began to feel sick again, and the pain in her head had begun to radiate throughout her entire body.  
"It hurts. Alex, it hurts. Please stop. Please."  
She felt so weak. She was a grown woman. An agent for the FBI. She was trained in all types of martial arts and self defense. She could of screamed or cried or shouted for help. But instead she did nothing. She gave up. She gave up the pushing and squirming and pleading for him to stop. She gave up hissing and wincing in pain every time his body moved against hers.  
She just laid there. It was like déjà vu. She was being thrown back years, back to her teens. She saw herself and Alex exactly like they were now, only on a grimy mattress in the middle of an abandoned shack on the edge of the woods. But they were kids then. It was different.  
Still. She did the same now as she did then. She closed her eyes. And she felt nothing.


	5. Chapter 5

She woke up alone.  
Rays of shimmering sunlight shone through the blinds, engulfing her room in a calming light. She laid still for a few minutes, staring numbly at the ceiling. Her entire body ached, though the throbbing in her head had now been replaced by a dull headache. JJ sat up slowly. Looking down, she closed her eyes at the sight of the fresh bruises printed around the inside of her thighs. Slowly, she picked up her discarded jacket from the floor and pulled her phone from her pocket. It was early morning. Her stomach began to rumble in confirmation. She was surprised she'd slept so long, though after the antics of the previous day, she wasn't surprised.  
After pulling on a tank-top and some gym shorts, she made her way to the kitchen. Her bare feet patted gently across the floor. She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, then an apple, which she took one bite in to before discarding it into the trash.  
Next, she went to the bathroom. Opening the cabinet, she began to search for some aspirin. She closed the door and dropped the container into the sink in shock of her appearance. Bruises and blood red bite marks trailed across her collar bone, stopping at the base of her neck. She grimaced.  
Stepping into the steaming shower, the young profiler scrubbed her body until her skin was raw. She could still smell blood. The hospital. Him.  
Stepping out into the empty apartment, she shivered. The shrill ringing of her cell phone made her return to her room, droplets of water splashing behind her.  
"Hello." She said blankly, her voice hoarse.  
"JJ, it's Hotch. I know your probably not feeling up to it, but Strauss wants to give a full team briefing at 8. We still don't have any set cases, so you'll probably be able to return home after, but she wants everyone here, no excuses."  
"Okay." Was all she said.  
Hotch paused for a moment.  
"Okay." He repeated, hanging up.  
After putting on fresh clothing, she stood silently in front of the mirror. Make-up in hand, she did the best job she could do at hiding the darkening bruises on her porcelain skin. The more make-up she applied, the worse it looked. Eventually she gave in and headed out of her apartment, throwing the door closed behind her and not bothering to look back.

* * *

"Well well well you naughty girl, is that a love-bite I see!?" Garcia nudged JJ playfully as she entered the bullpen, not noticing the slight whimper that escaped the blondes lips.  
Morgan smirked.  
"About time, if you know what I mean." He laughed.  
JJ remained quite. Hopefully she wouldn't have to be here much longer. She was simply here to attend the meeting. After that she would go home and crawl back under the duvets and, fingers crossed, disappear forever.  
"So JJ, who's your new boyfriend. Is he hot? Does he shave? Do I know him? What's his name?"  
Hotch scowled as he approached upon hearing the topic of the conversation.  
He too had noticed the peaks of the bruise JJ was undoubtedly hiding beneath her shirt. He hated to admit it, but jealousy rushed over him like a wave in the ocean.  
"Board room." He ordered, watching as each member slowly made their way up the stairs.  
He paid particular attention to the small woman in front of him. He followed, and watched unhappily as she simply threw herself into a chair and bowed her head, saying nothing to anybody. A small pang of sympathy for the girl shot through him. Perhaps she felt worse than any of them realized. It was unfair for Erin to demand she come back to work so soon. But as she tilted her head to the side, those thoughts were erased as he again noticed the mark that seemingly mocked him from beneath her shirt. He raised his eyes upwards, refraining from saying anything about professionalism and self-respect, instead shooting her an unpleasant look when she glanced in his direction. She dropped her gaze quickly.  
Garcia's questions were unrelenting.  
"Is he nice? Does he have a beard? Does he work here? Does he have a brother?"  
The rest of the team giggled and smiled in all directions, but taking his place at the front of the room, Hotch noticed that a smile didn't even grace her lips.  
"I don't get it." Spoke Reid. "I just don't get what the attraction is for having bite marks on display on your body.  
"Spoken from someone who's clearly never been given any." Morgan retorted.  
"I still don't get it." Reid mumbled in reply.  
Then Hotch silenced them all.  
"Could we focus please, Chief Strauss will be here any moment."

* * *

The meeting was mediocre and over fairly quickly. Hotch stood at the end of the briefing, permitting his team to continue with their dull and tiring tasks.

"JJ. My office."  
"Ooooo someone's in trouble." Emily sang as JJ followed her boss out of the room.  
Entering his office quietly, she sat daintily back in the chair and remained silent.  
Hotch watched her for a few moments more. He didn't understand what was going on, but he knew for sure that something wasn't right.  
"JJ...are you okay?"  
"I'm fine." She answered quickly. Too quickly.  
When he said nothing in return, she continued.  
"I just have a bad headache, that's all."  
"Have you eaten today?" He asked, silently noting the way her collar bones were beginning to protrude slightly.  
The question threw her.  
"Not yet." She answered truthfully.  
"JJ, look at me."  
The higher she lifted her head, the more apparent the purple patch beneath her white shirt became.  
"Well, professionalize aside, if anyone of us deserved to have a fun night it was you." He smiled, nodding towards her chest.  
He expected her to laugh, or at least smile in relief. Instead, she shifted uncomfortably and re-trained her gaze to the floor.  
"Come on, come with me."  
JJ's head snapped up at the offer.  
"Where are we going?" She asked quietly  
"Well, considering we've all been stuck in the office with Strauss complaining we've been neglecting our roots so to speak, Garcia suggested we give a little back to the community and go grab lunch together at the diner."  
"Oh." Was all she said.  
The thought of food made her feel queasy. She remembered Alex's comment about her weight and the instant hunger pangs quickly went away.  
"I had a big breakfast this morning, I'm not all that hungry." She lied. "Thanks for the offer though."  
Hotch furrowed his brows in concern.  
"But JJ, you just told me you hadn't eaten yet."  
_Shit. _She thought  
She looked up at her boss. He could see the sudden look of panic in her eyes, but decided not to question it.  
"Come on, even if you just have a coffee." He suggested.  
Walking back out into the busy bullpen, she smiled back at the grins that were being shot in her direction.  
"I guess a coffee would be okay."  
Together they joined the rest of the team, split themselves between two SUV's and went on their way.

* * *

They all sat at a window seat in the downtown diner, Hotch and Rossi both making their way to the counter to order on behalf of everyone.

"JJ, are you certain you don't want anything?" Hotch asked  
"I'm fine, honestly." She replied  
Garcia looked at her friend accusingly  
"I haven't seen you eat anything the past couple of days. Are you sure you're okay? Oh my God...you're not baking a bun of your own are you?" She gasped.  
"Baby girl!" Morgan laughed, watching the tinge of pink flush across JJ's cheeks.  
Hotch's head shot up, listening intently for her answer from where he stood.  
"No I'm not pregnant Pen." JJ smiled, "I told you, it's these painkillers, they're just making me feel a little off, that's all."  
"Hmm. Whatever you say pumpkin. I'm keeping a close eye on you though. Be warned." Garcia threatened playfully.  
The team quickly changed topic, and relief flooded over Hotch's face.  
"That was lucky. You still have a chance." Rossi said smugly at the change in his friends demeanor.  
"Shut up Dave." He said simply, grabbing the drinks and carrying them over to their table.  
As he approached, he heard the vibrating of the blonde agents phone once more, begging her for her attention. This was the third time in the past 20 minutes it had rung. She had ignored both previous calls from the car, saying her service would most likely cut out if she answered whilst they were on the move.  
"Someone's popular today." Morgan winked.  
"Is it lover boy?" Emily asked, making kissy faces to her friend from across the table.  
JJ glared. She didn't even need to check to see who it was.  
"Excuse me." She mumbled, sliding gracefully past Hotch and walking outside.  
Reid watched her carefully, then looked at Hotch, sharing the knowledge that he too thought something strange was going on.

* * *

Before she even had the chance to say hello, questions were being fired at her from the other side of the phone.  
"Where the hell are you? You didn't tell me you were going anywhere. I was gonna make plans for us and you've just totally blown me off? And don't lie to me and tell me you're at work when we both know damned well you're not with it enough to be there."  
Once his rant had finally finished, JJ spoke.  
"I got called in to a meeting. It was too important to miss." She said dryly.  
"So where are you now? Are you on your way home?"  
"Not yet." She replied.  
"Not yet? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Alex cried. JJ noted his frustration, but currently couldn't give less of a damn at his tantrum if she tried. She wasn't going to let him control her. She'd had enough of that already.  
"It means not yet. I'm out."  
"Out where?"  
"Just out." She replied.  
"With who?" Alex asked suspiciously.  
"With friends. From work."  
"Where?"  
JJ sighed tiredly, what did it matter where she was? Avoiding argument, she gave him the briefest answer she could think of.  
"Just a small diner downtown. I'll be home later. Bye."  
"Hey I don't think so, I'm not finished. Don't you dare hang up on me JJ I swear too..."  
She swiftly disconnected the call, turned off her phone and placed it in her back pocket. Turning, she saw her boss watching her like a hawk. Gulping uneasily, she made her way back into the diner and resumed her place.  
"That looked like a fun conversation." Reid said. Emily and Garcia both smiled, but Reid was looking at her questioningly.  
She opened her mouth to speak, but thanked her lucky stars when Morgan interrupted with some story about the pancakes his sister used to make.  
Sipping her coffee, she could feel her bosses piercing eyes burn into her. She made an attempt to be a bit more enthusiastic with conversation, but she soon grew bored and stared aimlessly out of the window.

The team grew silent as their food arrived, only making the odd comment here or there about how delicious their meals were. JJ did her best to ignore them, and continued observing her surroundings. Out in the parking lot, a car began to pull up.  
_That's odd. That's the same make as Alex's car. Same color too._  
JJ thought to herself. She turned to look over at the counter, contemplating grabbing another beverage. The diner was relatively empty, though that wasn't very surprising for mid morning on a weekday.  
The bell above the door jingled, announcing another customer. JJ glanced over her shoulder and almost dropped the remnants of her coffee all over her. She spun around quickly, unnoticed by Hotch, as a very smug looking Alex made his way into the diner.  
Walking to the counter, he smiled flirtily in the waitresses direction.  
"And just what can I get you today sir?" The young brunette behind the counter said playfully, curling a strand of loose hair around her finger.  
"I'll have one..." he started, then stopped to turn around and shoot a smile in JJ's direction, "actually, make that two, coffee's please. One with sugar, one without."  
The waitress peeked over his shoulder, spying the young blonde he'd just looked at. The waitress, who's name tag read 'Jade' huffed slightly, charged him, then scuttled off to get him his drinks.  
"Well, well, well, what a coincidence! Fancy bumping in to you here." Alex said loudly, approaching the table.  
JJ desperately hoped he hadn't seen her, and that if he had, she could suddenly turn invisible. But it was wishful thinking. Alex bent down and gave JJ a small peck on the cheek. Aaron clenched his fist tightly around his mug of hot chocolate and slowly swallowed his food to refrain from saying something he might regret. Rossi raised an eyebrow in his direction.  
"Well, well, well who are you?" Penelope smirked, a twinkle in her eye. JJ looked at both Garcia and Prentiss and felt a surge of disappointment in seeing how his charm had already cast them under his spell.  
"Well Jenny, aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"  
"Yeah Jenny, aren't you going to introduce us!?" Morgan mocked.  
JJ cringed at the use of the nickname he'd given her as kids. With it resurfaced a bunch of memories she didn't care to remember.  
Without looking up from the table, JJ spoke quickly.  
"Alex this is my team. Guys this is Alex."  
"Well hello Alex." Emily smiled, winking at JJ.  
But JJ wasn't looking. Hotch could feel JJ's foot shaking nervously under the table.  
_Is she nervous of us meeting him? Or is she nervous OF him?_  
Hotch speculated silently.  
"Here are your coffee's sir." Said the waitress, handing Alex two steaming Styrofoam cups.  
Alex threw a coy smile in JJ's direction.  
"Care to join me princess?"  
For the first time since he'd arrived, JJ looked up. But she didn't look at Alex. She looked straight at Hotch. The rest of her team seemed none the wiser and were casually continuing with their meals.  
"Well, I would, but we only just..."  
"Oh no no, seriously sweetie, don't bail out on your hunk of man meat because of us, between me and Emily I'm sure we can handle the boys." Penelope laughed, throwing a sachet of sugar at Morgan.  
"Hey!" Morgan retorted, mouth full of pancakes.  
"If she's going to feel bad for anyone it's certainly not going to be you two." Rossi said.  
"Well that settles it then." Alex said. "Come on, I have something real important to tell you anyways."  
Without waiting for a reply, Alex swiftly grabbed on to JJ's wrist and pulled her from the table. Hotch felt the flurry of anger engulf him, though looking around at the rest of the whom he was sat with, he noticed their lack of concern and wondered if he was over-reacting. Reid was currently attempting to scoot his way under the table as an all time sugar sachet war had broken out.  
"Children please." Rossi said. "Were none of you ever taught manners?"  
A sachet full of sugar to the face however quickly silenced the older man.  
Though his colleagues were fully occupied by their childish antics, Hotch couldn't help but cast continual glances over at the pair, who were sat at a table a couple of booths away from the door. He didn't know who this Alex guy was, but he sure as hell didn't like him.

* * *

"What the hell is your problem?" JJ spat angrily as Alex directed her to the empty booth.  
"Funny that. I didn't think I was the one with the problem." Alex retorted.  
"You're such an ass." She said.  
"And you, are so dead." Alex smiled, though the anger behind it was evident.  
At that comment JJ ceased talking completely. Alex pushed the cup of coffee in her direction.  
"What do you say?" Alex sang, as though talking to a 4 year old with table manners to be desired.  
JJ looked directly into Alex's deep brown eyes. She didn't want to say anything. In fact, what she actually wanted to do would probably end up having her own team arrest her there and then.  
She swallowed, then offered an insincere "thank-you." before taking the drink before her.  
She longed to be back at the table with her friends. She felt highly uncomfortable with Alex just sat across from her, staring silently. She knew the second they got home however, he'd let loose every emotion he was feeling in any way he could think of.  
The thought of going home with this man made her feel uneasy. Her stomach churned nervously, and her foot resumed it's twitching.

Time seemed to pass fairly quickly, and before he knew it, the bill had been paid for and everyone had risen, picking up bags and jackets from their sides. Hotch glanced over at the couple once again, noticing how they'd rarely said anything to each other the entire time they'd been sat there.  
He told the team he'd meet them outside. Everyone threw a wave in JJ's direction, with Alex shouting how happy he was to of met them in response. JJ said nothing.  
Hotch approached the table slowly. The feeling of concern and uneasiness grew as he neared the table. He saw how uneasy JJ looked, just as well as he saw the unrelenting face of thunder Alex had on him. Notching his arrival however, Alex was suddenly all smiles and grins. Hotch scowled.  
"JJ. The rest of us are heading back to the office now if you want too..."  
"Yes." JJ quickly interjected, standing in a flash by her bosses side. Alex's eyes narrowed dangerously.  
Hotch closed his mouth, stunned by the young profilers sudden movement.  
"Okay." Was all he said.  
"Do you really think that's a good idea baby, especially after everything that happened yesterday?" Alex said through gritted teeth.  
JJ didn't really know which part he was referring too, but the warnings that were laced in his voice made her re-think her current decision. Either she could go home and face whatever outburst Alex was likely to have, or she could go back with her team, do an insane amount of boring paperwork, and then go home to even more trouble.  
Alex stared JJ down hard.  
Her blue eyes clouded over with defeat, resuming her position in the booth opposite Alex.  
"Actually Hotch, I still don't feel to good. I'm gonna go home if that's okay?" JJ asked, silently begging for him to say that it wasn't okay, and that she had to come into the office straight away.  
Obviously her luck had long since run out.  
"Sure JJ, that's fine." Hotch said scanning Alex over suspiciously. He didn't trust this guy as far as he could throw him. But again, what if he was genuinely concerned, and it was his own emotions that were twisting the truth?  
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Hotch said, smiling at JJ and nodding his goodbye in Alex's direction.  
Alex waved happily, and sat smiling to himself for a few moments after, however once he was sure the parking lot was clear, his stone cold eyes shot straight to the woman before him.  
"Get in the car. Now."

* * *

"Why are you so pissed at me, I haven't done anything!" JJ asked, her knuckles turning white from how hard she was gripping on to the door handle in-case of an unplanned escape.  
"Your boss is an absolute jackass." Alex said, ignoring her question completely.  
"Hotch isn't a jackass. Hotch is the best boss I've ever had. And a damned good friend too." JJ replied in his defense.  
Without warning, Alex slammed his foot angrily on the brake. The blonde shot forward and then pack again, her hand instantly flying to her shoulder where the seat-belt had dug in. She hissed in pain.  
"What the hell Alex!?" She shouted.  
He said nothing. Simply stared at her with an emotionless blanket across his face. JJ rubbed her shoulder, watching him, but not knowing what to say.  
Out of nowhere, Alex began to laugh. JJ looked at him as though he'd grown two heads.  
"Of course. That makes perfect sense." Alex laughed, shaking his head as he did so.  
JJ continued to stare at him ,confused.  
Alex stopped laughing and turned dangerously serious.  
"You're in love with your boss, aren't you?"  
"What?" JJ spat out in shock. "No, no I'm not. He's just my boss, he's like a father-figure to me. He's..."  
"Yeah what ever, don't sit there and bullshit me. You think I didn't notice the way you looked at him. The way you smiled at him? The way you said his name? Pretty pathetic if you ask me. He clearly has no interest in you what so ever. He probably thinks you're like an annoying slutty schoolgirl who follows him round like a little lost puppy that he can't get rid of. Jesus JJ. Can you get any sadder than that?"  
Alex continued his driving whilst JJ silently willed the tears not to fall from her sea blue eyes. Those words had really hurt. Probably a hell of a lot more than even he'd intended.  
"Though it makes perfect sense." Alex continued later as they neared her apartment.  
"I mean, there's only one way someone like you could have gotten a job like the one you have. And let's be honest, it certainly wasn't your brains." He laughed.  
JJ said nothing. She simply continued to stare out of the window. It was beginning to rain. The clouds above began to turn a deathly shade of black. She found it funny. It was as though the weather were mirroring exactly how she felt on the inside.  
"Get out. We're home." Alex said, interrupting her day-dream. He grabbed her bag from her side, pulled out her keys, and slammed the door behind him.  
For a second she contemplated just staying there. Or running. She always ran. Whenever things got too hard. She ran. But they always had a way of catching up with her somewhere along the line. After all, wasn't that exactly what had happened now?  
Stepping out into the howling wind, JJ walked sullenly back to her apartment.

* * *

She was cold and shivering by the time she reached her door. She'd taken the stairs rather than the elevator, and although it wasn't that long of a way to go, she was exhausted. Turning to lock the door, she gasped in shock as two strong hands latched onto her frail shoulders and spun her round, throwing her petite frame against the strong wooden door. She winced in pain as the door handle jammed viciously into the bottom of her ribs. At the release of his grasp, JJ looked up to face the man that towered above her, but she instantly regretted that decision as the back of his hand connected sickeningly with the side of her face. She tasted blood before she saw it.  
Grabbing her by the collar, Alex threw her into the door once more.  
"Don't you ever, EVER, make a fool out of me like that again, do you hear me?" Alex began. "Pining over your damned boss whilst you're sat there with me, making me out to be an absolute tool. You're pathetic." He shouted, throwing her body backwards and forwards so violently she could swear she could just about feel her eyes rolling around her skull.  
"You're pathetic. You're nothing. Not to any of them. You don't think at least one of them would of noticed something by now if they did!? Face it Jenny, you're a joke. You always have been, and you always will be. And if you ever, EVER dare disrespect me again the way you did tonight, then you'd better plan your funeral now because next time I wont be so forgiving."  
And with that, Alex threw her frail body violently to the floor, made his way to the bedroom and slammed the door angrily behind him.  
She wasn't sure how long she laid there for. Long enough for the skies to darken even more and the rain to pelt down. Streaks of lightning shot their way across the darkening sky. JJ simply continued to lay there, closed her eyes, and wished that she'd never been born.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you so much for the positive reviews, though I would just like to respond to this one;_ "JJ's a strong female character in the show. Even though she may be a bit intimidated by Alex based on her history with him, she certainly would be strong enough to ask for help from her team, rather than consistently endured verbal and physical abuse."_  
I am aware that JJ is a very strong character indeed, however from what I can gather from this statement is that you have never been in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships and very easy to fall in to but very difficult to come out of. The strongest of people can easily be thrown into one and some may not even notice. The majority of this story is based on real events from my own experiences, so trust me when I say that even the strongest people can fall into a situation like this. Thank you.  
**WARNING - This chapter gets incredibly dark, with mentions of rape, abuse and self harm. **

* * *

She was warm. Really warm. Considering it was the middle of November, she was unsure as to why she could feel droplets of sweat on her back.  
Her eyes fluttered open and she scanned the room. The sharp twinge in her head caused her to wince, and all the memories of the day so far resurfaced.  
"Hey princess, did you have a nice sleep?" She heard from behind her, his lips grazing the base of her neck to plant a soft kiss on her warm skin.  
Looking down, JJ noticed the duvet that had been wrapped around her. She was laid in between Alex's legs, both curled up on the sofa. The lights were off, but the TV was on, showering the room in a soft, homely glow.  
"Hey?" Alex said, nudging her softly.  
Again, she winced.  
"Sorry." Alex whispered, sounding genuinely apologetic.  
He helped her sit up, then turned her so she was facing him. Placing his hand underneath her chin, he lifted her head until their eyes were level. JJ looked at him for a second, but dropped her gaze and breathed in deeply. Alex slowly stroked the cut on her lip with his thumb.  
"Look at me." He said, but his voice was gentle.  
JJ's eyes rose.  
"I'm so sorry baby. I really am. I just, you just make me so angry sometimes you know? And I just can't control myself. It's like, I just completely black out and I don't know what I'm doing. You know that I'd never hurt you on purpose right?"  
JJ nodded, but she wasn't convinced. She'd heard the groveling and the apologies so many times before. Come tomorrow he would easily do this all over again if he wanted too.  
Alex smiled lovingly.  
"Here." He said, handing her the control to the TV.  
"Why don't you stick a movie on, I'll grab some snacks, and we can have a little movie marathon before bed, how does that sound?"  
In all honesty, she thought that sounded ridiculous after everything that had happened. She really didn't want to do anything but run away and never look back. But instead, as always, she forced a weak smile as a reply and took the remote from him.  
Alex beamed. Leaning down, he kissed her passionately. JJ used every ounce of energy in her body to get it to respond.  
Pulling back, Alex sauntered into the kitchen, pausing a moment to turn back and say;  
"This is it baby. We can do this. We can be together forever. Nothing can stop us now. I'm just so happy that you're finally mine."  
And with that, he entered the kitchen and began the preparations for their snacks.  
JJ glued her eyes to the TV and clenched her teeth. How on earth did she end up in this mess? When did everything get so serious?  
She didn't know how, and she didn't know when, but what she did know is that she had to get out, and soon, before it really was too late.

As much as she hated to admit it, she honestly couldn't of had more of a relaxing afternoon. Together they'd laughed and joked at numerous movies and snuggled up together to watch Bambi, a movie Alex knew was one of JJ's favorites. As the closing titles appeared on the screen, JJ watched Alex finishing of the remnants of the popcorn. She bit her lip. This was the Alex she loved. The fun, soppy, happy Alex who she'd met all those years ago. The troublemaker with the cheeky grin that highlighted his charm and those gorgeous chestnut eyes. If only he could be this way all the time.  
Alex caught her staring and grinned. He pounced suddenly, knocking the blonde back and pinned her arms to her sides. She let out a playful scream as Alex began tickling her all over and kissing every inch of her beautiful body.  
"Alex stop!" She laughed, batting his hands away.  
He laughed and pulled back.  
"You need to eat more kid, I can feel your ribs, get any skinnier and I might break you."  
JJ's smile wilted, but Alex didn't seem to notice.  
"Hey, I'll go run you a bath okay? I'll throw all your girly bath bombs and shit in too, how about that?"  
His question was clearly rhetorical, as he was up and on the way to the bathroom before he'd even finished speaking.  
"That sounds great." JJ said blankly, watching him disappear into the bathroom.  
She stood slowly. Watching Alex eat the snacks he'd prepared had made her hungry, though he hadn't appeared to notice that she'd hardly eaten anything at all. The room began to spin, but she wasn't sure whether the cause was from not eating or from earlier antics.  
Once the dizzy spell had ceased, JJ walked over to the counter and grabbed her phone. She knew she needed a good nights sleep in order to look even remotely alive for work tomorrow. Although no one had really questioned her, she knew people were beginning to get suspicious. Their mouths didn't need to say anything when their eyes spoke for them.  
Entering the bathroom, she was hit with the gorgeous aroma of lavender. Candles flickered away in each corner of the room. Alex was sat silently on the toilet seat.  
"Hey." He whispered huskily. "Your baths ready."  
JJ walked quietly over to the mirror. She could see him watching her, waiting. Uneasiness shot through her veins like fire. She flexed her toes a few times and as she grew even more uncomfortable.  
"I put the football on for you. You can go watch that if you like?" JJ asked, her voice secretly pleading for him to leave.  
"I'd rather watch you than football any day." Alex whispered, his voice low.  
JJ's shoulders dropped slightly. She wasn't going to get rid of him.  
"Well? Your bath's gonna get cold." Alex pushed.  
JJ stared hard at the mirror; her dull, blue eyes were sparkless. She added the new marks on her face and head to the inventory of many at the back of her mind. No doubt she'd soon come across more that were hidden.  
She began to unbutton her top, but was interrupted.  
"Slower." He demanded.  
JJ let out a shaky breath, but did as he said. She hated this. She hated everything about this. But more than anything, she hated herself. This was all her fault. She wasn't sure how, but it had to be hers when it was nobody else's.  
She saw Alex watching her intently, his eyes burning, his mouth open slightly in awe.  
Reaching the last button, she popped it open, revealing a small green bruise just below her navel. She dreaded to think what else was hiding beneath her clothes and for a second, closed her eyes, willing her mind to take her anywhere but here.  
A few seconds later, she felt cold fingers entwine with hers, pulling her over to the center of the bathroom. All that could be heard were the droplets of water dripping rhythmically into the bathtub below. Alex stood before her, looking down at her. JJ remained silent as his hands began to wander down her body. He let out a groan as he removed her shirt and dropped it to the floor.  
"Jesus Jenny, you're so perfect." He whispered, his fingers dancing over every inch of visible skin.  
"Turn around." He commanded.  
She turned compliantly as Alex smoothed her long, golden locks over her shoulder. He placed soft kisses all the way down her spine, stopping to unhook her red bra as he went. JJ held her breath and swallowed hard. Alex tiptoed around her, planting kisses on every visible mark his hands had made. Returning to stand behind her, he bent slowly, then began running his fingers around a specific spot on her back.  
"I could kill that bastard for what he did to you."  
JJ laughed at the irony. She knew what he was referring too. He was talking about the belt buckle scars that decorated the bottom of her back, thanks to the uncle she was forced to stay with every fortnight whilst her parents went out. Alex took her away from all of that. A pang of guilt suddenly ripped through her. If anything, she should be grateful. If it wasn't for Alex, she may not of been here today. Her sister was more than enough proof of that.  
Standing straight, Alex then pushed the straps of her bra down her arms, carefully avoiding the mass of tiny bruises that mapped their way over her pale skin. Bringing his hands down once more, JJ hissed as his fingers grazed over the fresh wound at the bottom of her back that had been left by the door handle. He ignored her and continued with his task. Wrapping his toned arms around her waist, he smoothly unbuttoned her trousers, watching as they effortlessly dropped to the floor.  
"You need to eat more. No guy likes girls that look like sticks." He said simply.  
He crouched down in front of her and kissed each of the scars that were patterned across her thighs.  
"I told you these would scar you idiot. I still can't believe you used to do this to yourself. To your own body. What the hell were you thinking Jenny?"  
She was forced to grow up far too quickly. No child of 12 should ever of had to deal with what she did. A dead sister. An alcoholic father. An abusive uncle. Mix that into the pot of daily drugs, drinking and reckless sex; mutilating her own body was the only control she had.  
Removing that very last item of clothing on her body, he bit his lip in admiration.  
"Look." He said, pulling her back over to the full length mirror. But she didn't look. She didn't want too. But Alex didn't give her a choice. Placing his hand under her chin, he raised her head.  
"I said look." Alex repeated.  
She looked. And the second she did, she wished she hadn't. She no longer saw herself. She didn't see JJ at all. All she could see, was what she saw everyday at work.  
A victim.  
A lost and broken girl with no hope or determination left in her. No love, no fight; nothing.  
She was empty.  
"See, you're beautiful." Said Alex, breaking her train of thought and pulling her back to the present.  
Alex stared at her for a few moments more, then smiled before slapping her buttocks, causing her to jump. He laughed.  
"Go on, get in before it gets cold. I think we're both in need of an early night tonight too."  
JJ was more than happy to oblige; she practically jumped in the tub, anything to pull her away from the vision of her broken body and the memories that had made her this way.  
"I'll go get some towels." She heard Alex say, though his voice was distant.  
She watched him exit. The second he stepped foot out of the room, she took one last breath of air and let herself slide under the water.

She wondered if she could just lay there and cease breathing. Just die. Just like that. She figured she couldn't. If it were that easy she was certain she would of done it by now. Plus she was pretty sure she'd heard Reid babble on about how it was impossible to drown yourself...or was that fish? She wasn't sure. Her mind was too fuzzy to remember anything in detail.  
Behind her closed eyes she saw the happy, smiling faces of her team. The only real family she'd ever had. What would they do without her? Would they just carry on without her? Would anyone even care if she were to suddenly just disappear?  
Her thoughts were rudely interrupted when two large hands plucked her frail body from the water.  
"Yo, what the hell you tryna do chuck, drown yourself?"  
"Don't be silly, that's impossible." JJ replied dryly.  
"Yeah well, you about scared me to death there, I thought you'd died!" Alex exclaimed.  
"If only." JJ muttered under her breath.  
Alex perched himself on the side of the tub.  
"Hey.." He started. "Are you okay? Like, really?"  
JJ sat still for a second, contemplating her answer.  
The truth was no. No she wasn't okay. Not in the slightest. But she knew that wasn't the answer Alex wanted to hear. So instead she uttered a small "yeah." before reaching for the shampoo.  
"Here, let me." Alex offered, taking the bottle from her hands.  
He lovingly lathered the sweet smelling liquid into her golden hair.  
"Remember when we used to do this back at the farm? I'd always wash your hair, and you'd always massage my back." Alex grinned. "And do you remember the time we..."  
His sentence was cut short by a dull buzzing.  
"What's that?" Alex questioned.  
JJ looked around the room before her eyes landed on her discarded pile of clothes.  
"I think it's my phone." She said.  
Alex rooted around the material for a few seconds before uncovering the offending item. JJ watched his eyes darken as he looked at the screen.  
"Who is it?" JJ asked.  
"It's your beloved Aaron." Alex sneered, throwing the phone in her direction.  
Her heart skipped a beat and she narrowly avoided dropping the phone into the water below. What the hell was he doing calling her at this time? Surely they couldn't have a case, could they? She felt her excitement at the prospect of being called away, finally giving her an excuse to leave.  
"Answer it." Alex demanded.  
JJ swallowed, then pressed the answer button.  
"Agent Jareau." She said bluntly.

* * *

Hotch had been pacing around his quiet town house for almost half an hour. Jack was staying with his Aunt Jessica for the weekend whilst Hotch redecorated his room, but the task was not as much of a distraction from his thoughts as he hoped it would be. He'd barely got anything done, instead walking around in circles whilst concerns over a certain blonde kept entering his mind.  
He had absolutely no reason to not like this Alex guy. But he didn't. Not one little bit. In fact he was pretty sure he instantly loathed him the second he laid eyes on him. But why? Why when he didn't even know the man.  
Hotch finally gave in and retreated to the sofa. He turned on the TV, but still his eyes stared ahead blankly. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he hovered his thumb above the one name that had been etched into his mind all day.  
There was nothing wrong with giving her a call, right? That wasn't too stalkerish or weird? Maybe it was unprofessional...then again, being concerned about a team member, wouldn't this be the right thing to do?  
Before he could convince himself otherwise, he hit the call button and waited anxiously.  
His instinct had never been wrong up to now. He just couldn't chance the "what if's" that were screaming at him from inside his head, even if he had no idea what those "what if's" were. He wouldn't sleep peacefully until he'd heard from her own lips that she was okay.

* * *

"Hey...it's Hotch."  
"Do we have a case?" JJ asked, a little too enthusiastically.  
Alex watched on from the doorway.  
"Um, no actually we don't. I was just ringing to see if you were okay."  
"Oh." JJ replied. Hotch couldn't help but note the sound of disappointment in her tone.  
"Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be." JJ asked brightly, trying desperately to sound more convincing as she watched Alex's eyes darken even more.  
Hotch paused for a second.  
"I don't really know." He said finally. "I just, I don't know, I know this may sound strange, so I'm just going to come out and say it, but the team, and me, we've been really worried about you JJ. You've just been so... off I guess. And I can't help but wonder..."  
Hotch stopped.  
"Put it on loud speaker." Alex hissed over to her.  
She complied immediately.  
"Wonder what Hotch?" She asked innocently, though she had the dreadful feeling that she knew where this was going.  
She could hear him breathing uneasily on the other end of the phone, clearly trying to figure out what he should say next.  
"Are you alone?" Hotch asked.  
The question caught her off guard, but she mumbled a quick yes as she saw Alex's hands clench in anger.  
"Okay. Well...I just can't help but wonder if your new boyfriend has something to do with it. I'm sorry JJ. I know that probably sounds intrusive and rude and highly unprofessional, but I just can't shake this feeling that there's something going on. I saw how uncomfortable you looked at the diner JJ, how eager you were to leave. The worst part is, is that I don't even need to be a profiler to notice. Even Reid thinks something strange is going on. Are you 100 percent sure that everything's okay?"  
JJ's mouth was open in horror at everything he'd just said. She thought she'd been more careful. How stupid was she to have honestly believed that no one had really noticed anything was wrong. She could hear Alex's breathing becoming more erratic by the second and knew she had to fix this, and quickly.  
"Hotch, I promise you, everything's fine. Me and Alex are fine. I'm fine. And yes actually, you're right, it is rude and intrusive and unprofessional to call me at this time just to tell me that. I love Alex. And I've never been happier. And I'd really appreciate it if you and the rest of the team quit profiling me and left me alone. I have to go."  
"But JJ..."  
"Goodbye Aaron." She said hastily before disconnecting the call.

She felt him before she saw him. She breathed out quickly and willed herself to hold in the nerves that were exploding inside of her like fireworks.  
The phone was ripped from her hand in seconds. Crashing into the mirror, both that and the handheld shattered to pieces. JJ let out a whimper and Alex's vice like grip locked onto her shoulders, shaking her so violently the motion caused waves in the bath water.  
"Oh I promise Aaron, everything's fine Aaron, don't worry Aaron." Alex mimicked in a high-pitched voice.  
"What the hell have you been telling them! " Alex shouted, droplets of warm saliva spraying onto her face.  
"Nothing I swear. I swear I never said anything Alex please." JJ whimpered as pain coursed through her body.  
She wasn't at all prepared for what happened next. Before she could do anything to stop him, Alex forcefully pushed her body beneath the water. Panic surged through her like an electric current. She remembered going swimming with her sister in the lake by their cabin. How she'd strayed out too far and began to dip under the water. She remembered the fear and the pain that she felt then. It was the same as she felt now. Only then Rosaline was there to save her. This time, she was alone.  
She thrashed frantically beneath him, the water burning her eyes and nose. Alex was unrelenting; his grip not even faltering despite her erratic movements. It didn't take too long before JJ began to grow tired. Her wild movements slowed and the grip she had around Alex's arms was starting to loosen considerably.  
_This is it._ She thought to herself. _This is how I'm going to die. He's finally going to go too far. He's finally going to kill me._  
Just as she felt her eyelids grow too heavy to keep open, she felt herself being yanked viciously from the water and dropped to the tiled floor below. The instant rush of oxygen made her splutter and choke as tears streamed from her stinging blue eyes.  
JJ curled herself up instantly, cautiously awaiting the blows that were sure too start raining down on her at any second. But they didn't. Nothing happened.  
She laid for a few moments, unmoving, not sure what he was waiting for. Stealing a glance upward, she saw Alex's staring ahead, seemingly lost in a day dream that she was not part of. Though his attention was seemingly elsewhere, she didn't dare move.  
After what seemed like hours, Alex calmly resumed his position on the toilet seat. JJ sat up slowly, ignoring the screams of protest that her body emitted. She blinked slowly. What the hell was going on.  
"Go." Alex said, his voice dull.  
"W..what?" JJ stammered.  
"You heard me. I said go." Alex repeated. "Go run to your little lover boy. It's obvious you want to be with him more than you want to be here with me. So go."  
JJ stared at him in shock. If this was some sort of new game he was playing, she felt cheated, because she sure as hell didn't know the rules. She felt the panic swirl inside her. This was inexperienced territory. Despite all her years of professional training, she had no idea what to do.  
"I do." She whispered. "I do want to be here with you."  
Her body involuntarily jumped back when Alex's fist smashed loudly into the side of the sink.  
"Don't bullshit me! Do you think I'm stupid!?" Alex snarled.  
JJ watched him silently for a few more seconds. He was right though. The only person she could think of right now, was Hotch.  
Reaching forward, she gingerly picked up her pile of clothes and slowly made her way into the bedroom. Alex followed, but sat silently on the end of the bed, facing the other way.  
Once she was dressed, the sudden urge to flee was all JJ could think about. This was actually happening. She was going to leave. She was going to run and find Hotch and everything would be okay. But then a stray thought stopped her in her tracks. What if he didn't want her there? What if he didn't care? What if she turned up unannounced and interrupted his time with Jack, or Beth, or both?  
Regardless of where she went, she knew she couldn't stay here with Alex any longer. Walking towards the living room, she gasped in shock when Alex's hand grasped onto her wrist.  
"Wait." He said. "What does he have that I don't? What's so special about him?" He asked.  
JJ swallowed. What answer could she possibly give him that wouldn't throw him into a fit of rage. Although watching him as closely as she would, she figured she may not need a reason. She watched dishearteningly as the fire that burnt brightly in his eyes just hours before was extinguished, instead being replaced with black, emotionless coals that sat on dying embers.  
She could feel the heat beginning to radiate from his palms at her silence. His jaw tightened as his teeth clenched in anger.  
"Well?"  
JJ swallowed, but for once in her life, found herself utterly speechless. Her arm swung loosely as Alex released his grasp, rising to tower above her petite frame.  
"Well if you can't make up your mind, perhaps I can show you what I can do that Aaron will never be able to compete with." Alex smirked, casting a glance towards the bed. He only laughed upon seeing the panic in her eyes.

Run.  
Her entire body and soul screamed at her to get out.  
Spinning on her heel, she bolted from the room and fast as she could manage. She reached the door in seconds, but she knew Alex wasn't far behind. She fumbled with the locks on the doors and for once chastised herself for being so cautious.  
Victory seeped through her as her bare foot touched the floor of the deserted hallway of her apartment, but it was short lived.  
He grabbed a fistful of her dripping wet hair, yanking her backwards and re-locking the door.  
"Alex please..." She started. Fear silenced her as she watched in horror as Alex removed his belt.  
"Maybe your uncle had the right idea after all." He spat maliciously, snapping the belt in JJ's direction.  
She yelped and frantically scooted backwards, grabbing the phone from it's stand, but he was much faster than she anticipated.  
It took him less than 3 seconds to straddle her tiny form, pulling the phone from her grasp and casually tossing it over his shoulder. He grinned maniacally before ripping her shirt open, buttons flying off in every direction possible. The carpet beneath her felt like sandpaper rubbing against her soft, white skin.  
She wasn't sure at what point he'd managed to finally break her. But clearly he had. Up until now she hadn't even noticed the waterfall of burning hot tears streaking down her flushed cheeks. The words that begged and pleaded for him to let her go didn't sound like her own, but they were.  
Only once before had she ever begged for him to stop, and that night she almost died. It were as though some cruel twist of fate was forcing her to endure it all over again.  
"Please Alex. Please stop. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I swear Alex I didn't. Please stop." She cried.  
"Say it." Alex said.  
"I'm sorry!" JJ replied.  
"No." Alex spat. "Say it. Say his name."  
"Who's name?" JJ asked, confused by what he was talking about.  
"You know who's." Alex shouted angrily.  
So she fearfully whispered the first name that was forever poised on the edge of her tongue.  
"Aaron."  
"Aaron." Alex repeated venomously, anger seeping through every pore in his body.  
Without warning, he grabbed her wrists and held them firmly in place above her head. For the first time in her life, she fought back. And she fought back hard. But even her hardest wasn't enough. He was easily twice the size of her and it didn't take much to get her into a position where she could hardly move at all.  
Sobbing hysterically, JJ continued to beg him to let her go.  
Alex simply laughed.  
Pulling her writhing form into the bedroom, he slammed the door shut behind him. Pushing her down onto the bed beneath them, he laughed sickening.  
"That's right baby. I love it when you squirm."  
With as much courage as she could muster, she spat angrily in his face, and instantly regretted her decision as with seemingly no effort, he twisted her left wrist until a satisfying snap was heard. It felt as though a tonne of bricks had been dropped on her wrist alone. All other pain was forgotten as the high pitched scream escaped from her lungs. But Alex was prepared. She was quickly silenced as a pillow smothered her face, muffling her screams and unrelenting sobs.  
With little to no effort as all, Alex skillfully removed the rest of her clothing, as well as his own. He went about his violent assault, intending to cause as much pain and distress to the young girl below him as he possibly could. He scratched, bit, pinched... he even grabbed his lighter from the bedside cabinet and watched in delight as her body responded to touch of the flame he dragged relentlessly up and down her body. The louder she screamed, the more he laughed. Pushing the pillow to the floor, he assaulted her mouth with his tongue, laughing sadistically at her pathetic attempts to bite him when he came near. He placed his hand on the centre of her neck and began to push with as much force as he could muster.  
She put every ounce of energy she had left into fighting, but the effort was futile. It simply made him even more excited than he had been before.  
Finally, after what seemed like days but had probably been less than an hour, Alex untangled himself from her body and casually sauntered out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  
The second the door closed, JJ turned and vomited all over her bedroom floor. No matter how hard she tried, she simply couldn't stop her body from shaking, nor stop the tears that were still cascading down her swollen cheeks. She cried even harder at knowing her body had betrayed her. She was well and truly broken, and there was ultimately nothing she could think of that could ever allow her to be fixed.  
Curling herself into a fetal position, she closed her eyes tightly as her body shuddered uncontrollably, despite the mild temperature. She thought about her sister. Her mom. Her friends. Aaron...  
And with that, she continued to cry. And cry and cry and cry. Until eventually no more tears came. But dry sobs racked her body all the same. Until finally, God only knows when, her broken body became so exhausted, that it shut down completely, throwing JJ into a deep, dark sleep, where all the demons from her past and present would continue to plague her in her dreams.


	7. Chapter 7

Fire.  
That was all she could dream about. It was all she felt.  
Fire running through her veins. The searing heat was unbearable.  
Her eyes shot open in panic. Glancing over at the alarm, she was surprised that she'd managed to sleep at all. 04:12, the clock read.  
Tilting her head slightly, she listened to the noises she could hear floating through to her bedroom. She could hear the TV. And Alex. Definitely Alex. But, there was something else, another voice mingled in...another woman?  
JJ sat numbly, pulling her battered knees up to her chest. She didn't even care. All she wanted to do was run away and never look back.  
She walked slowly, almost zombie-like, to her closet. She silently praised herself for managing to single handedly put on a pair of underwear, a loose sweat top and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Slipping on a pair of her worn running trainers, she carelessly sauntered into the living room. She didn't care that Alex had company. He'd already broken her. There wasn't exactly much more he could do, even if he wanted too.  
Glancing in the direction of the living area, JJ wasn't at all surprised to see not one, but two young girls occupying her leather sofa. One was a skinny build with shocking red hair, the other a brunette with soft brown eyes and a shy smile.  
"Oh. Yeah. This is my sister, the one I'm looking after, isn't that right Jenny?" Alex said.  
JJ said nothing and continued for the door.  
"I'm glad your feeling better, that must have been one hell of a scare." Spoke the red head.  
JJ turned, and raised her eyebrows at Alex, not understanding.  
"She's talking about your car crash. You know, the one that gave you the bust lip and stuff?" Alex spoke slowly as though speaking to a child.  
"Yeah. Thanks." JJ said sarcastically, before turning on her heel and slamming the door shut behind her.  
"Where are you going!" She heard Alex shout from behind the door.  
But she didn't reply. The second her foot touched the wet cement outside, she ran.

Running was all she knew.  
Whenever things got to hard, too scary; she ran.  
She ran as fast as her legs could carry her and she left the shadows as far behind as she could.  
Thunder rumbled above her; lightening illuminated the dark path in front of her. The flashes of light made her dizzy, but still she continued to run.  
Her feet hit the pavement as fast and heavy as the droplets of rain. Within seconds the thin material of her clothes were soaked through. JJ pushed through it and didn't stop, not for a second. She couldn't. She wouldn't.  
She had no idea where she was going. She didn't care so long as it was away from where she had been.  
20 minutes into her run, the sodden lace of her sneaker entangled itself around the other, throwing the blonde harshly to the pavement below. Learning from her soccer days, she quickly twisted her body so that the main impact were on her knees and elbows rather than her already damaged wrist.  
Like hell would that stop her.  
Jumping back up, JJ continued to run.

It felt like forever had passed when her body finally began to tire. Her bones screamed in protest for her to stop.  
Eventually she did.  
Wiping away the loose hairs plastered across her face, she stared ahead. She had no idea how she'd even gotten here, but here she was. Right outside Hotch's front door.  
JJ stood silently for a moment, but before she had the chance to knock, a searing pain radiated from the left side of her ribs. She was unprepared and fell with a thump to her already grazed knees.  
She slumped against the doorway and focused on steadying her breathing. She was wet, and cold, but her body itself was numb.  
A few seconds later, the grassy patch outside Hotch's kitchen window lit up. Someone had turned the hallway light on.  
Struggling to stand, she knew she had to leave before her boss found her like this. What the hell was she thinking anyway, coming here of all places.  
Placing her throbbing wrist inside her sweater, she limply cradled her ribs. Now was the time to make another run it.  
Reaching the end of the dimply lit street, she was convinced she slipped away without anyone noticing. But over the deafening roar of the rain and thunder, JJ had failed to noticed the frenzied patter of bare feet hitting the ground behind her. It wasn't until a hand grasped her shoulder and spun her frail body around.  
The second his dark brown eyes locked with hers, his entire world crumbled to pieces. She watched helplessly as the color drained from her bosses face. Other than the minor marks on her face, with clothes still on, there wasn't much too see. But JJ knew just from his haunted expression, he already knew.  
She contemplated running again, but deep down she knew it was too late. She'd been caught. And now she'd have no choice but to face the demons that had been lurking behind her all these years. They'd finally caught up with her. Now, there was no going back.


End file.
